Accidents In The Home

He was afraid to go home. That’s where most accidents happen and he knew that he was already accident prone. Surely you’ve heard the adage: most accidents occur in the home.

Actually, that’s not quite right. Most accidents occur in Arlo’s home. That’s because Arlo made very bad choices in the way he built and appointed his home.

Let’s take you through Arlo’s typical day.

The loud buzzer (sounds more like a pneumatic drill) goes off and Arlo rubs his aching back, sits up from his lumpy bed and throws his alarm clock against the wall. He walks across to the bathroom (cutting his feet on the broken glass from the alarm clock) where he cuts his face shaving with a dull blade. (The blades were on sale.)

After scalding himself in the shower, he notices that the toilet backed up (again) and throws up his hands in disgust. He gets dressed, straining his arm reaching for his coat. (He couldn’t quite remember why he put the peg so high up.)

Arlo always skipped breakfast at home. The prospect of what might happen terrified him.

Then he goes to work, enjoying a long dull commute and an uneventful eight hours in a cubicle. Arlo felt the terminal boredom to be pure bliss.

Returning home, he gets a sharp shock as he turns the cold metal doorknob and enters. He slides and falls backward on his beautiful heavily polished entryway floor. Arlo calls 911 from his cell phone again. (He’s got it on speed dial.) The emergency medic arrive.

After a few years of this, Arlo had enough. He ran away from his own home.