And God Created Dinosaurs

I was taking a tour of the creationist outdoor amusement park when their dinosaurs became extinct.

The old Kentucky attraction had been refurbished by a rich evangelical. For the last six months, men and dinosaurs walked together, just as they had 5,700 years ago. It was Jurassic Park with automated velociraptors and no science.

Anyway, I was walking through amusing myself. I took my time, trying to get my $20 worth. The owners seemed to think that not only did dinosaurs and people live together, but that all those geological ages were the same. Saber-toothed tigers, triceratops and stegosaurs were all around at the simultaneously.

The models were strangely old fashioned, with brightly colored tin shells. They had crude automated joints. These creatures creaked as they walked awkwardly like windup toys from the turn of the century. It was stupid but charming.

The woolly mammoth was my favorite. He was actually covered with steel wool.

My enjoyment was reduced considerably by what happened next. I heard a commotion. People were pointing at the sky and shouting. I didn’t see it. I just heard the boom and felt the Earth shake.

A meteor, just the right size to devastate an outdoor amusement park, destroyed the place, killing two, and injuring everyone else including me. The dinosaurs were wiped out entirely.

They will rebuild, but I won’t get there in time for the re-opening. They say they’ll have the place up and running again in six days. God willing.