Dull Pain

I’m bored with my pain. It’s diffuse, spread throughout my body, and terribly uninteresting.

I suppose pain is always unpleasant for people—except for those who are into that sorta thing—but most of the time pain is at least mildly interesting. I prefer pain with a dramatic story behind it.

Wanna know some of my favorite kinds of pain?

Heartbreak is a good one. Sad, but interesting. Limbs injured in a car crash are also good, provided they heal correctly. You get a lot of sympathy and the slow motion experience during the actual crash is fascinating. How does that work?

Jaw pain from grinding teeth is kinda cool. The rigidity hurts, but when you let it go, the relief is awesome, like a face massage. Sometimes I grind my teeth hard on purpose just for the release.

When you break a leg skiing, you get a cast and people sign it and all that. It’s almost a social event. The modern soft casts are actually comfortable and, if you don’t get an unreachable itch, the whole thing is, like totally worthwhile.

But then there’s my pain.

My pain has something to do with circulatory problems. Feels like pins and needles everywhere and also numb. It’s really dull lying down here. I really want to get up and move around. But it’ll be okay and I’ll be better soon. Right?

Please tell me it’ll be better. I can’t take much more of this dull pain. I think I’m starting to panic.