When they legalized heroin, I didn’t sell it over the Internet. Instead, I bought small classified ads in the back of the few remaining print magazines and local newspapers.
Boy, did it work!
The big players thought they had it wrapped up—slick packaging, big distribution networks, celebrity endorsements, and huge ad budgets. They wanted heroin to be mainstream but cool.
But the addicts (and aspiring addicts) had other ideas.
As you know, even after a few rounds of raising more venture capital, the big guys are barely treading water. They just don’t understand the market.
Heroin addicts don’t care about packaging or endorsements. They want the jolt of power (or relief) that they get when the needle hits the vein. That’s where the action is. And that’s what I give them.
“Heroin Direct.” That’s my brand, my message, my pledge. That’s what the people want. They call or even place an order via snail mail. And they get a syringe fully loaded and ready to go—absolutely positively overnight.
Pretty soon I’m gonna add retail. An authorized dealer on every street corner. Fully approved by the Department of Justice and the FDA.