My Resentment Journal

It’s all good. I’m an easygoing guy. Nothing really ruffles my feathers. But this attitude seems to have annoyed my shrink. He told me to start keeping a resentment journal. He said to me, “Arnie, you need to develop a stronger connection to the world. You act like you’re just passing through.” Then, he furiously tore up my gratitude journal—which he’d previously assigned me to write in to “get my juices flowing.” In the 8 weeks I’d been keeping that journal, I hadn’t yet come up with anything to be grateful for, so he ripped up a blank book.

Now, I’m sitting here trying to think about things that I resent, or could persuade myself to resent, to make my shrink happy. He hates it when I call him “shrink.” I’ve gotta stop that. I think he resents it.

In fact, a lot of things seem to bother Mr. Daniels. He insists I call him Mr. Daniels because it prevents transference, whatever that means. He even prefers that I call him “shrink” rather than “Warren.”

Mr. Daniels looks agitated whenever I’m late for my appointment, even if it’s just five minutes. When I enter his office, even when I’m on time, he usually looks up from his paper with a discouraged sigh. Something always seems to be wrong with my shrink.

But he’s still the expert and I’m still trying to find something to resent.

What about this? What if I start listing things that other people might resent? I could begin filling the book, make the shrink happy and maybe even work myself into a lather! Well, maybe.

Now let’s see. Hmmmm. Nothing comes. Nah. I’m just drawing a blank.

Maybe I should just lay it out straight for the shrink. I ought just tell him: “The fact is, Warren, we are all just passing through. Take a chill pill.”