Naming Rights

What do you think of the name “SnapChat” for one of the girls? Since the doctor confirmed quints are on the way, the offers keep coming. Johnny Cash’s heirs want me to name one of the boys Sue.

This is all so sudden. One minute I’m desperately taking fertility drugs, fearing a life of childless grief. The next day I’m on Good Morning America with my baby bump chatting with Joan Lunden.

Meanwhile, I need to come up with five baby names. So many companies have come forward to offer suggestions and money. I love America!

Still, it’s a bit overwhelming. I mean, five kids. I’m a wreck. My husband’s been holding up pretty well under the circumstances. He’s practically packed me in pillows trying to keep me comfortable. I’m fine. I just need five baby names.

Should I call the tall one Amazon? Or Prime? Do I really want a rushed overnight delivery?

The thing is, I need five names and I kind of think they all ought to go together in some way. But each corporation wants only one name. They’re trying so hard to get one of the names and they’re being very nice to me. I’ve gotta hand it to them.

Hand. Hand? Hand! That’s it!

They’ll be called Thumb, Index, Middle, Ring and Pinky.