I cut myself this morning shaving. I’ve got this new razor. It’s really sharp and I’ve just discovered it’s really hard to deal with.
It’s not that the razor is complicated in design. Clearly, the design is simple and elegant with no unnecessary do-dads. The whole thing consists of a straight handle with a blade mounted at the end. They featured it in Real Simple magazine.
No, the design isn’t complex but using it is. I am posed with a question: is this the simplest way to deal with Andy’s whiskers? (I’m Andy.)
I’ve adjusted my technique in the last few days. I’ve sharpened the blade which allowed me to eliminate shaving cream and water. Aftershave? Never!
People have begun to notice the my face is scraped up and there’s been some bleeding. Unfortunately, as part of the process of pruning down, I got rid of my styptic pencil.
As careful and determined as I’ve been, this doesn’t seem to be working out. My face is a mess and it stings all the time. My girlfriend Sophie refuses to kiss me.
So, I’ve decided to really simplify. I’ve tossed the razor and I’m growing a beard. The razor was a superfluous ontological apparatus. I’m better off without it. Plus now I look hip.