The Break Up Puppy

Time really does stop in these moments. You’ve got time to think.

Yeah, I’m a creep, but I’m a sensitive self-aware creep so when I broke up with Clara, I gave her a puppy. I told her Snowflake would love her better than I could. And Snowflake doesn’t have wandering eyes or paws.

I thought she took it well. We remained friends.

She walked Snowflake, an awkward Old English Sheepdog, and we’d run into each other. I’d introduce Clara and Snowflake to whichever babe I had with me. Still, I remained a bit tense and a vein in my neck would throb.

Clara pointed at me and showed off Snowflake’s training.

“Snowy!” she’d say. “Show Jim and Francesca what you can do!”

And the dog would do an impressive assortment of tricks, each one after Clara whispered a command. Clara and Snowflake were a much better couple than Clara and Jim. I did the right thing.

So, now I’m walking around, alone for once and I see the two of them. I’m happy for both girl and dog and grateful for the way things turned out. Clara smiles at me, whispers to Snowflake and now here it comes. The dog’s eyes are pale and wide, her body is aloft and her sharp teeth are flying toward my throbbing vein.