The Good Guys vs. The Good Guys

This much they all agreed upon: in the world there are the good guys and the bad guys. Of course they also disagreed. Everyone thought, no knew, that the bad guys are the other guys.

One group of good guys wanted to encourage everyone to have flidgets. They insisted that flidgets are good for you, essential to our happiness and freedom and that prohibiting or restricting them would be tyrannical. And insane.

The other group of good guys forcefully disagreed. Flidgets were dangerous, deadly and should only be handled by specially trained responsible experts. Ordinary people could easily do harm to themselves and others by mishandling flidgets—through either carelessness or evil intent.

“Not so!” insisted the opposing good guys. Yes, some people cause mischief with flidgets but most of us use them responsibly and even protect themselves and others with our flidgets. Don’t take our flidgets, you evil tyrants! We were warned about you.

“Calm down,” said the other good guys in a soothing voice. I don’t want to take you flidgets, they said. Although if you freak out and start angrily hurting people with your flidgets, perhaps I should. But I couldn’t, of course, because you guys are carrying flidgets.

“Damn right we are!” said the other good guys. And they insisted that they would continue to exercise their freedom by possessing and using their flidgets—forcefully and responsibly.

They were all good guys. The bad guys were the other guys. Always. Obviously.

Well, the two mobs of good guys continued to duke it out. Of course they had good intentions. The other guys had questionable intentions. Or they were misguided. Or stupid.

So, they continued to talk, sometime yell, and sometimes threaten violence. They did everything except communicate.