The Pacifist Court

When President Cruz ousted the old nine and installed nine new true believers onto the Supreme Court, he discovered the Law of Unintended Consequences. Annoyed over activist judges who legislate from the bench, Cruz redesigned the Court to enforce the laws of the Divine Lawgiver. Unfortunately for him, the judges actually read the Bible.

This ruling didn’t please him:

We have spent, or more accurately wasted, decades quibbling over the phrase ‘cruel and unusual’ when we could have gone straight to The Source which unambiguously tells us “thou shalt not kill.” This we do today.

And with that, the death penalty was gone.

A similar fate awaited war. Based on the same commandment, ‘Congress declares war’ was revoked. Only God could declare war, said the Court, and He remained silent.

On the other hand, slavery was restored and even extended beyond its earlier implementation. It was legal in every state, in accord with the Divine Document.

President Cruz was finished when a sinless man stoned him.