I’m now available only by subscription. The old “pay what you will” model just wasn’t working for me. Don’t worry. I’m still your friend at the basic level for free. However, we can talk just once a month—and there’s advertising.
Of course, if that’s not good enough, you can always upgrade and—good news!—there are special introductory rates! Here’s the deal:
One interaction per month. No social media connections. Advertising.
As an Acquaintance, you’ll enjoy one social media connection with me and one personal interaction. No advertising. Cheaper than Netflix!
As a Buddy, you’ll enjoy up to 3 social media connections with me, and 3 personal interactions per month. No advertising.
At the top level, limited quantities are available, so buy now before the opportunity is gone. As BFF, you’ll enjoy all the benefits of a Buddy plus recognition on your birthday and a shoulder to cry on when something bad happens.
Please don’t take these new arrangements in the wrong way. They were driven by market conditions. I will always value your warmth, humor and generosity. As long as your account remains in good standing.